Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 7

My scan has come and gone and yet my emotions are exactly where they were before the appointment. Maybe it’s because the Lord graciously allowed me to remain at peace regardless, or maybe I knew in the back of my mind that I would continue to live in the grey with no change apparent.

Thank you all so much for praying, though. For those who didn’t see my social media post, the spot, the residual tissue, the questionable tumor that popped up in December 2023 is still there and hasn’t grown or shrunk.

Is the spot concerning? No.
Is it still small? Yes.
Do they think it’s cancerous? No.
Do I have to check it yearly? Yes.

While I am SO beyond grateful that it didn’t grow, it’s frustrating to me to process the constant unknown. Is it nothing? Is it a tumor? Will it grow over time?

I kept praying that the Lord would make things clear and yet I’m learning to do the uncomfortable: live, truly LIVE and live fully and in abundance - IN THE MIDDLE!

In the middle when I don’t have a black or white answer.

In the middle when there’s no need to worry but also no need to be careless with health.

In the middle of “could-be’s” but also good days.

In the middle of joy and pain.

But that’s life, isn’t it? Life for all of us as we learn to accept that we live in a fallen world, full of heartache but also carrying the ultimate Hope within us.

It’s a balance I’m learning to walk in.

So, while I can’t jump up and down and report “I’m healed!!!” or “It’s miraculously gone!” like I had honestly hoped I could do, I am still celebrating this life I have been given.

Focusing on truth, finding the FUN, standing on His promises, letting myself be a human and have moments of questioning, but then looking around and living to the FULLEST.

Family and sunsets, cows and puppies. Writing and speaking, wind chimes and birds’ morning chirping. Laughter and lightening bugs, learning and growing.

God never promised us a perfect life. But He did say that we can live an ABUNDANT life because a life with Christ is more rich and wildly better than anything we could ever dream.

There is abundance for us all in the middle.

When you don’t have answers, but you have many blessings.

When you’re living out what you’ve prayed for, but also yearning for healing.

When you’re at peace relationally, but still praying for God’s redemptive work in a specific realtionship.

When you have moments of joy throughout the day as you look around and thank God for your life, but then have pain sprinkled through because of the evil in this world.

And what is abundance? A great amount, more than enough. That sounds like the grace and love we have been given and are given because of a relationship with Christ, right? A great amount, more than enough. You see, when we realize we are living in abundance because of what Christ has already done, and we have the expectant hope for what is to come, our spiritual mindset changes. We see things differently and can look at our lives and say, “We are rich, indeed.”

A life of abundance in Christ doesn’t have anything to do with health and wealth or prosperity and perfection. In fact, I think the opposite is true. A life with Christ means we share in His sufferings, have humility before honor, work hard in the unseen, and live faithfully without recognition. While both can be true in our lives at times (i.e., living in health and sharing in His sufferings), I believe the majority of our life is focused on the latter.

Growth, character, and hope is often birthed in our lives through suffering and pain. Much like Christ’s resurrection, our life truly begins when we repent and die to our flesh. And that daily process is hard. But when you surrender, watch how abundant your life becomes!

I think this is my last “choosing the good portion” blog post in this series. It feels complete after all that I’ve walked through the past 9 months and finally having had my appointment. I hope this series has encouraged you in your faith as much as it has mine, and if you want more on “joy in suffering” and haven’t read my book, Take Back Your Joy yet, check it out below! It’s even on SALE :)

Love you friends and praying for everyone who reads my little corner of the internet. Your life matters. Continue to choose the good portion!

Love,

Nicole