the embracing chaos blog

The Table & The Light
Nicole Jacobsmeyer Nicole Jacobsmeyer

The Table & The Light

But every day I lose more of myself.

Never invited.

Never seen.

Never appreciated.

I’m starting to see the truth.

As I turn to hang my head, I see a glimpse of bright light in the distance.

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Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 7
Nicole Jacobsmeyer Nicole Jacobsmeyer

Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 7

And what is abundance? A great amount, more than enough. That sounds like the grace and love we have been given and are given because of a relationship with Christ, right? A great amount, more than enough. You see, when we realize we are living in abundance because of what Christ has already done, and we have the expectant hope for what is to come, our spiritual mindset changes. We see things differently and can look at our lives and say, “We are rich, indeed.”

A life of abundance in Christ doesn’t have anything to do with health and wealth or prosperity and perfection. In fact, I think the opposite is true. A life with Christ means we share in His sufferings, have humility before honor, work hard in the unseen, and live faithfully without recognition. While both can be true in our lives at times (i.e., living in health and sharing in His sufferings), I believe the majority of our life is focused on the latter.

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Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 6
Nicole Jacobsmeyer Nicole Jacobsmeyer

Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 6

These questions really hit me as I have my next doctor’s appointment in a couple days. This is the appointment that I’ve been waiting for since December 2023. The one to see if the parathyroid tumor has grown, stayed the same, or miraculously disappeared. When I look back over the last eight months of waiting, I see all the wrestling I’ve done with the Lord. The questions I’ve asked, the anger at times, the fears and the countless days of crying out to Him. But God is so kind because I have finally landed in such a place of peace and strength the last few days. Ultimately, it comes down to this: I want whatever brings Him the most glory.

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Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 5
Nicole Jacobsmeyer Nicole Jacobsmeyer

Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 5

The truth is that those practices aren’t confined by location. With Christ leading you, you can choose to have a positive attitude no matter the circumstances and create a life where you thrive no matter where you are. I pray we are all so led by the Spirit that each season, whether hard or easy, feels like HOME because we have Christ in us, the Hope of glory!

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Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 4
Nicole Jacobsmeyer Nicole Jacobsmeyer

Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 4

I was being Martha….again. I was doing and planning and mad at anyone who didn’t hop onboard.

Except there was Jesus across the room. Sitting with the me I wanted to be, at his feet. The woman who trusted. The woman who knew where her treasure was. The woman who saw what was most important. It was’t the house. It wasn’t the comfort of a plan. It wasn’t the display or the preparations. It was never about that. It was Jesus Himself.

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Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 3
Nicole Jacobsmeyer Nicole Jacobsmeyer

Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 3

We know the grass is greener where we water it, especially spiritually. But are we modeling that in our own lives? Are we so focused on all of the activities our culture tells us to do that we’re neglecting the most important thing? What character traits do we need to be a Mary who sits at the Lord’s feet and listens to His words when the world around her is focused on the things of this world?

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Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 2
Nicole Jacobsmeyer Nicole Jacobsmeyer

Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 2

I looked at life through the lens of numbers and achievements, speaking events, book sales and social media engagement, all while knowing deep in my soul that none of that truly matters and isn’t even up to me. I thought if I did a, b and c, then x, y and z would happen. As if I held my life in my own hands and if I did all the things, then all the blessings would follow. But I knew better. Instead of “must respond as soon as possible” being the resounding drum in my head, it slowly switched to “you can’t save anyone.” Ouch.

Humility comes when you understand all of your trying is entirely dependent upon the Lord’s will and that man can never undo or thwart God’s intended purposes. I began to feel a peace that I didn’t know could come from surrendering. I was lighter. Not that I didn’t care anymore, but I finally saw that it wasn’t my responsibility to do everything and be everything to everyone.

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Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 1
Nicole Jacobsmeyer Nicole Jacobsmeyer

Choosing the Good Portion Series - Part 1

Choosing the good portion. - But then, the hope follows for us. Because we know that as Christians, we don’t walk through trials and suffering for nothing….but that God will use it for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28) and that He will also produce in us character, endurance and hope because of what we face (Romans 5:3-5). We have great hope since we serve the only One who can use all the awful things we go through to develop us and make us more like Christ.

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